My Favorite Hello, Dolly! Quotes

Here are just a few of my favourite quotes from this hilariously entertaining musical. : )

Dolly Levi: Hello! Hello there, how are you? Oh hello!
Horace Vandergilder: You know too many people.
Dolly: Total strangers.
Horace: Then why do you greet them?
Dolly: It makes me feel good to have so many friends.
Horace: Oh, say hello for me too then.
Dolly: I already did.

Horace Vandergilder: Eighty-percent of the people in the world are fools and the rest of us are in danger of contamination.

Dolly: And on those cold winter nights, Horace, you can snuggle up to your cash register. It's a little lumpy, but it rings!

Horace: You are a seven-foot-tall nincompoop!

Ambrose Kemper: That's an insult!

Horace: All the facts about you are insults!

Dolly: Goodness gracious, the whole room is crawling with men. Irene, darling, congratulations.

Gussie Granger as Ernestina Simple: What do you mean, "oysters aren't in season"? Anyone can have oysters "in season", I want them out of season!

Horace: They don't have any, Miss Simple.

Gussie Granger: Then tell them to go out and dig for some!

Cornelius Hackl: Well, you see, we're two ladies about town and we're looking for a hat to Malloy and...
Barnaby Tucker: We're hats, you see, and we're looking for a lady to Malloy with for the after...
Cornelius: We want a hat.

Cornelius: Smile, Barnaby.
Barnaby: I'm smiling.
Cornelius: Look rich, gay, and charming.
Barnaby: I'm looking gay and charming.

Horace: Any man who goes to a big city deserves what happens to him.

Ticket seller Mr. Sullivan: Where to, Dolly?
Dolly: Yonkers, New York, to handle a highly personal matter for Mr. Horace Vandergilder, the well-known, unmarried, half-a-millionaire.
Mr. Sullivan: Gonna marry him yourself, Dolly?
Dolly: Why, Mr. Sullivan, whatever put such a prepostrous idea into my head-- er, your head.

Cornelius: There is no Mrs. Hackl.
Barnaby: Yes there is, your mother!
Cornelius: She didn't mean that.